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Behind the Curtain by Living Opera
Behind the Curtain, hosted by soprano Soula Parassidis and tenor Norman Reinhardt at the beautiful Hotel Bristol in Vienna, is a video podcast by Living Opera that takes listeners beyond the grand performances and into the heart of opera. Through candid, thought-provoking conversations, the podcast reveals insights that transcend the stage, exploring universal themes such as personal growth, leadership, and perseverance. Whether you're a seasoned opera enthusiast or simply curious about how artistry intersects with everyday life, Behind the Curtain offers a unique perspective that bridges the world of performance with real-world challenges and experiences. Watch the video version of this podcast on Living Opera's Facebook and YouTube Channels.
Behind the Curtain by Living Opera
From Crisis to Community – Creating Living Opera
In Behind the Curtain, hosts Soula Parassidis and Norman Reinhardt delve into the raw realities of life as opera singers. In this premiere episode, they reflect on the catalyst moment that led to the founding of their organization, Living Opera. It all began in Paris on October 13, 2016, when Norman faced an unexpected crisis during a high-profile, celebrated performance. This episode invites listeners into the high-stakes world of opera, exploring the unseen pressures that come with it.
Performance anxiety in opera, or any performing art, is a delicate balance between passion and pressure. Soula and Norman unpack the illusion of perfection that often overshadows the joy of performing, discussing the personal and professional toll it takes. They explore the importance of support systems and the fine line between striving for excellence and the harmful pursuit of perfectionism. Through candid conversations, they redefine success in classical music, emphasizing the need for trusted individuals to stay grounded.
By confronting their fears, they reclaim the joy in their craft. Sharing stories of both trauma and triumph, the hosts highlight the value of reframing experiences and returning to the basics of artistry. This helps combat cynicism and encourages a healthier mindset. The episode concludes with a reminder to nurture positivity and joy in both work and life, while acknowledging the inevitable challenges.
A powerful testament to resilience, this episode invites listeners to look beyond the curtain and discover the true essence of performance—an inspiring start to a new podcast series!
The Behind the Curtain Podcast is hosted by Soprano Soula Parassidis and Tenor Norman Reinhardt. Follow Living Opera on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Website.
Watch A VIDEO version of this podcast on Living Opera's Facebook or YouTube Channels.
All right.
Soula Parassidis:This is it.
Norman Reinhardt:This is it. Here we are, I know.
Soula Parassidis:So I feel like we should do an intro.
Norman Reinhardt:Okay, what kind of intro do you want to do?
Soula Parassidis:That's what people do on podcasts they introduce themselves.
Norman Reinhardt:Okay.
Soula Parassidis:I mean, okay, Soula .
Norman Reinhardt:I'm Norman.
Soula Parassidis:And we're opera singers.
Norman Reinhardt:And we're opera singers? Yes, we are.
Soula Parassidis:And I guess because, remember, this is going to be audio, Like we're doing video, but it's also going to be audio.
Norman Reinhardt:Yes, yeah.
Soula Parassidis:People have already shut it off by now. I to go viral, it's gonna be huge the audio already no, but um, this is our new project behind the curtain and we're so excited to have you here with us. We have been doing this kind of format for almost what is it five years now? Um 2019 I can't count, like I feel like there was like that black hole where nobody remembers, like 21, 22, 22, and maybe even part of 23.
Norman Reinhardt:I'm not sure, I think, so I mean.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, so technically it's 2019, right now, 2019. Oh, okay, great, yeah, yeah, no. But first of all, I just want to thank the Bristol Vienna for hosting us today.
Norman Reinhardt:Amazing, actually. Let's just have my Bristol coffee cup. Yes, here we go. There it is.
Soula Parassidis:You can like zoom in on it, but uh, anyway, no, we're. So I was just saying before we started shooting oh yeah, let me take a sip of the coffee it's delicious, it's very good ah yes, very good, um, and I was saying, this is like a far cry from when we started doing these broadcasts from our living room, but also in vienna, so it's like very first full circle.
Norman Reinhardt:Well, no yeah, we started here yeah we're here again. Yeah, that's great and.
Soula Parassidis:But now see like there's proper cameras and lighting and we don't have our office light with paper towel on it.
Norman Reinhardt:I remember the paper towel that was our filter. We had a paper towel over a lamp. That was the light filter that we used.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, no, but um, I just feel like, since this is our kickoff episode, I told you kind of what I want to talk about today.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, I actually have no idea what you're about to do.
Soula Parassidis:I haven't told you exactly what I'm about to unleash. I don't know what she's about to say no, but the whole point of Living Opera, why we started Living Opera was to bring just a new conversation into the classical music realm and to be able to have conversations about what it's really like to do this job. Yeah and so, um, I wanted to surprise you, so I have my phone. Actually, here I'm very nervous.
Norman Reinhardt:I'm not sure this is a good surprise.
Soula Parassidis:It's a very good surprise, no no, it's, it's a kickoff point, just so we can really talk about what I want to talk about today, what we want to talk about today. This is the one where I didn't really give you any prep, because I just wanted to get your honest reaction.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh Lord, Now I'm nervous.
Soula Parassidis:You're good. So, it's going to be fine. Okay, I had to scroll all the way down the beginning of my Instagram channel to get this.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh, wow, yeah. Okay, this is back in the day stuff.
Soula Parassidis:All right, yeah, so all right, are you ready? Yeah, okay, oh my gosh, I forgot everybody what this is so.
Norman Reinhardt:that is after the first Nautoma that we did in Paris. That was my birthday.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, so we're going back to October 13, 2017 or 16?
Norman Reinhardt:I think that was 16. Okay, so we're going back to October 13, 2016.
Soula Parassidis:2016, yeah, Because that's really like the origin point of how we even ended up in this place talking about this stuff in Vienna.
Norman Reinhardt:Yep.
Soula Parassidis:First of all, that Cecilia and I were amazing. Right Ben, you were great.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, that was Cecilia and Soula singing high notes at the end of my happy birthday.
Soula Parassidis:If anybody heard it Setting the stage. This kind of goes back to even us using technology in opera, because I remember at that time it wasn't even okay really Okay, so to speak for opera singers to really use stuff like YouTube, unless somebody else produced something for you and put it online and then it was okay.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, it was a very.
Soula Parassidis:It was a different time exactly, so basically you end up after many, many things happen to julia bartley see some videos of you, and you are invited to do several productions with her yes and the culmination was that night so yeah, this is. I really wanted to basically start. You're in Paris. I'm in Paris 2016, 2016, it's your birthday and it's like in the audience, having no idea that you are having this like crisis a panic attack so I wanted to start this new series great, let's start it with a panic attack everyone no, but it's relevant because I think
Soula Parassidis:a lot of people can relate to that, that you're like at the pinnacle of something, yeah, and everybody else outside thinks it's amazing, and you later told me what was going on. I was like are you kidding me like we're eating the cake you know we're having, we're clinking champagne and going oh, it's been an amazing show and you're just like yeah, so I want you to talk about that night, what the heck happened you mean literally, like really literally, I want you to like how clear are we going here?
Soula Parassidis:I want you. You've never really shared it have I in full? Not really really I think one time we talked about it was sort of like you wanted to quit singing yes but we've never really talked about everything you went through that night and then what came afterwards? Well, that was a.
Norman Reinhardt:Really, I mean, that was a very strange experience because and it just goes to show well, I'll say that in a minute but it was a strange experience in that we were doing this production of Norma, this extraordinary production of Norma. It was such a joy to be a part of, it was such a joy to be a part of. And that particular, I'm not even sure. Really, people have asked me, because we've talked about performance anxiety and this is kind of one of the kickoff points of that and but it's not. People have asked me what did it come from? What was the catalyst? Was there a reason Were you afraid it come from? What was the catalyst? Was there a reason? Were you afraid of something specific? What was it? And I actually don't know what it was.
Norman Reinhardt:I can't actually connect it to. It wasn't being afraid of the public. It wasn't being afraid of performance. It wasn't being afraid. It wasn't that, it just. It was like it came from nowhere and all of a sudden, here we are.
Soula Parassidis:What did it feel like in the moment? Terrifying, but like what were you going through?
Norman Reinhardt:And your brain, at least in my case. I don't know how other people experience this, because people do in different forms and different versions, but my brain was yelling at me.
Soula Parassidis:Wow.
Norman Reinhardt:Telling me I couldn't do it while I was singing.
Soula Parassidis:Okay, so you're singing the whole Yone Aria.
Norman Reinhardt:I'm singing the first Aria. I'm singing the first scene because the first scene starts out and it's 10-12 minutes long, big recit, aria, cabaleta, with no cuts, and it's a great scene. Yeah, great music. Enjoy seeing it. It's so fun to perform that live you're living your dream. I'm living my dream, okay that didn't matter great because somehow and I, like I said, I don't really know what instigated this, because I sang it and it was fine. I didn't feel like.
Soula Parassidis:Is this your first time?
Norman Reinhardt:It's my first time I'd ever sung the role. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you did it later as well, yeah it was my first time singing the role and so amazing team of people, yeah, so supportive, fantastic, yeah so you couldn't be in a better situation.
Soula Parassidis:Right right.
Norman Reinhardt:Can't be in a better situation and so, but nonetheless, we started. Yeah, I was nervous, like always, but not yeah, like normal nerves.
Soula Parassidis:I wasn't normal nerves. Yeah, yeah, that.
Norman Reinhardt:I had had for 15 years. Yeah, you know, whatever Walked out on stage, started and as I was going along just doing my thing, this thing started going around in my head, Just started circling in my head Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, Start the aria. And kind of the pinnacle of the example that happened in this particular case was in the aria part. I threw in a C in the aria part and so I'm singing the aria and it's kind of going along fine, but my brain was yelling at me and so I'm singing the aria and it's kind of going along fine, but my brain was yelling at me, going, it's not going to come out.
Soula Parassidis:The C, the C.
Norman Reinhardt:Specifically, specifically, it's not going to come out. It's not going to come out, not even it's going to be bad. It was going.
Soula Parassidis:Like this, your voice is going to stop.
Norman Reinhardt:It's just going to stop. Okay, it's not going to come out, it's not going to come out. It's not going to come out, it was just on repeat.
Soula Parassidis:Okay.
Norman Reinhardt:So I'm singing or whatever I'm acting, I'm on stage, my brain is doing this other thing out here in left field I don't know what's going on there. Yeah, and building up to that particular phrase and talking to my brain while I was singing, while it was yelling it's not going to come out, it's not going to come out, it's not going to come out. I grabbed it's almost like I grabbed the thought, said yes, it is, pushed it down and sang the C and that's how that particular phrase. And so, anyway, that kind of went through the C and that's how that particular phrase. And so, anyway, that kind of went through the scene.
Soula Parassidis:Hang on, sorry. I have a question. You just said something you grabbed. How does a person grab?
Norman Reinhardt:a thought they don't want to have. Have you had to do that since then? I have yes.
Soula Parassidis:So how do you do that? Literally, how do you?
Norman Reinhardt:You will it, you will it to stop.
Soula Parassidis:You will it, you will it, you will it you will it to stop wow you, take you literally how do you fight it? Like you have to have something your will you literally?
Norman Reinhardt:you set yourself against it and you go. That isn't true, is it?
Soula Parassidis:is it hang on a second? Yeah, is it like you know when you really like, okay, if there's something in the house like if there's, I don't have a huge sweet tooth or anything, but I like know what's in the house. So if I know there's like, you mean in the yeah, yeah, yeah, if there's like a piece of chocolate if there's, and I'm like, and it just starts like burning my mind until until it's like I have to have it yeah and so like that's also a form of like, or, or.
Soula Parassidis:if I'm like, I know, you know, oh, don't have that, it's it's late, or because, like, for me that'll cause acid reflux or whatever, I have to will myself. Does it feel like that? I think people can relate to that kind of sort of like, a willpower thing. Does it feel like that or does it feel different when you do that?
Norman Reinhardt:on stage it feels like that, but louder and more intense.
Soula Parassidis:Oh my gosh, how do we explain that?
Norman Reinhardt:The intensity is very high. I mean it's a performance thing, so anything that anybody does.
Norman Reinhardt:High performance, that's performance in what you do. Whatever you do is a performance. It doesn't matter what it is. You're performing something and if there is suddenly an anxiety that attaches itself to that performance because it's not logical, it's an illogical. I mean, in performing like what we do, I get the logic of it because you're vulnerable, you're in front of people, it's scary. So there is a logical, it's a scary thing. Yeah, so there is a, just at the base level, it is a logical thing, it's a fight or flight.
Soula Parassidis:It's a fight or flight kind of thing.
Norman Reinhardt:But what's weird about it? You know, I've already been doing the job for so long, right, and hadn't experienced anything to this level of intensity. For that to happen is what was illogical about it. That didn't make sense to me, and when I've looked back at it and then what I experienced after that, it didn't make sense.
Soula Parassidis:It was just kind of there. But hang on a second, Like when you've looked back at it now, can you pinpoint something? Were you afraid of what people were going to think of you? Were you feeling like? Oh did you feel imposter syndrome Like, oh, I shouldn't be here, none of that right.
Norman Reinhardt:I've never felt how people were going to think about me. You're going to have some people like you. You're going to have some people not like you. That's the way it is. I don't have a thing about that people like you you're going to have some people not like you.
Norman Reinhardt:That's the way it is. I don't have a thing about that, Right? Imposter syndrome yes and no, but I feel like I dealt with imposter syndrome a long time ago. Okay, it was, it really was. The only thing that I can think of is not being at the level that I felt like. Well, technically, but just as a performance.
Soula Parassidis:Okay.
Norman Reinhardt:Not being at the level that I thought it should be at.
Soula Parassidis:Why do you think that was I mean you prepared it.
Norman Reinhardt:I prepared it. But also, that is the subjective thing to the person, right? Because we've talked about this too, in that how something translates to an audience is not how it translates to you, right? How you feel about something, how you feel in a performance, what you're thinking about, um, everything is because of the technique of it. It's not just the technique of singing, but it is the technique of performance. Everything you're doing is smoke and mirrors. It's, it's a, it's an illusion for the audience, because you're projecting this character.
Soula Parassidis:You mean vocally or just Both?
Norman Reinhardt:Well, I mean the technical stuff, Definitely.
Soula Parassidis:Definitely, but also as a character. Yeah Well, I mean, you can't relate to that character. He's like nothing like.
Norman Reinhardt:I'm very glad. I can't relate to that character. He's a terrible person, he's a bad person. Yeah, he's a bad person, yeah, he is. But anyway. So I finished the scene. Yeah, it was fine. It really really was. It was as soon as it was there. I was there, all these.
Soula Parassidis:It was totally fine, I think we had, like Olivier, even from Living Opera Community, our voice teacher we had other friends from the industry, people that we knew.
Norman Reinhardt:People were like that was good, it was absolutely fine. Right, but in your mind my perception of it was that it was horrible Okay.
Soula Parassidis:So you go backstage.
Norman Reinhardt:I'm gonna hit it over here Horrible, but that being said. So what happened is I walk offstage and the intensity of this particular, again, I can't. Whatever this experience. I walked off stage, I walked past Cecilia. She's about to go on and sing Casta Diva and she's the one everybody's there to see. Anyway, they're not there to see me they're there to see her.
Soula Parassidis:Well, I was there to see both of you equally.
Norman Reinhardt:You know, but you have to say that because you're my wife. But but so you know, they're not there to see me, they're there to see her Right? And so I walk off the stage, I go back to the dressing room. I go up to the dressing room, I go in the bathroom and I'm looking at myself in the mirror and I said to myself that's it, you're done, You're done, you're done. Singing it's over.
Soula Parassidis:Thank you for making that decision without even talking to me. I know right. I appreciate that. It's really great. It's really good.
Norman Reinhardt:But I did tell myself because I literally wanted to walk out of the theater.
Soula Parassidis:Well, yeah.
Norman Reinhardt:I was ready to go home. I'm like that's it. But I told myself. I said you can't quit yet.
Soula Parassidis:You have to finish the show and it was your birthday.
Norman Reinhardt:And it was my birthday, you have to finish this. Okay, good times. And so I went out, I finished the show and the thing is, is that after that, everything, whatever, it was totally fine. I didn't feel nervous at all, I didn't feel afraid at all. I just went out and finished the show and it was fine. It was literally just that section. Whatever was going on in me just went crazy.
Norman Reinhardt:So, like so, and one of the things that I noticed about my particular I. Whatever it is, however, my anxiety showed itself was always once I got on stage. I was fine.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah.
Norman Reinhardt:The problem was never on the stage. Okay, the problem was, except for that one time, the problem was always getting to the stage. Yeah, and that is where it was, I mean, just insanely intense yeah and once I got on stage then it was more yeah, there's some nerves, but then it was more just kind of normal, and you know I could so I'm very like a release, a release and so I was very thankful for that, because if it had been that intense, then be on stage and stay that intense I wouldn't have been able to do it.
Norman Reinhardt:But even at that the level was so high and it got to the point where Sula is having to be on the side of the stage to get me on the stage. Once we got out there, we were okay I never shoved you on stage. No, but to support me, you're going to be all right. And there were other people.
Norman Reinhardt:There were other people who helped me get on stage
Soula Parassidis:[Right,
Norman Reinhardt:Christoph Loy was one when we did Stuarda. Now that happened and there are other people who support and helped me get out there. But eventually the body starts to go hey, what are you doing? We can't do this. You've got to get help.
Soula Parassidis:Plus, the crazy thing is you are doing the thing that you've dreamt of doing, that you love doing, that you're trained to do.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah.
Soula Parassidis:And you know, I think the outside perception is what's the problem here. But, I think it's hard to explain when you have to pump yourself up constantly and then let it back down again and pump yourself up and let it back down, yeah, and let it back down. And it's really, really challenging to explain what you're going through, unless you have some people that you can trust and actually say I'm having trouble continuing to hold this up, because somehow I feel like we're meant to have this illusion of perfection all the time.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, and that's, and I have that in me. I have that idea of some kind of weird perfection, or of what I think perfection is Mm-hmm, even though I know it's ridiculous, right, and I would never tell anyone, right? In fact, I tell people quite the opposite. Perfection is just don't even mess with it. Right, pursue excellence. Yes, perfection is just don't even mess with it.
Soula Parassidis:Pursue excellence.
Norman Reinhardt:Perfection is a joke.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, because don't you feel like perfectionism is sort of excellence in disguise? You should be pursuing your personal excellence, but it manifests itself as a perfectionistic attitude which is actually a critical spirit being masked.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, when it, when it when. The reason that I think the yeah, I mean that's it. The reason I think perfectionism does that, is because it really easily flips into kind of this binding mentality, right, that if you don't hit this very specific and it's always small, it's never a big goal or a big idea, it's like a really the spot you're trying to hit is about that big Uh-huh, and if you don't literally hit a bullseye, then you haven't gotten it, mm-hmm. And so that's why I do use the term excellence as opposed to perfection, right, because excellence has a little more fluidity to it, it's a little more flexible.
Soula Parassidis:Yes, because we all know that we've all got a certain measure of talent that can be cultivated and used. Yeah, and you want to use it, but the thing is like a person has what they have, yeah, so you're not going to. You know what do they say back in Tennessee? You can't put in what God left out, kind of thing.
Norman Reinhardt:You know what I'm saying.
Soula Parassidis:So it's like yeah, you know, I had to come to terms with the fact. You know I used to play basketball and. I was just not going to do that anymore. You know I wasn't going to make that my life's goal. Because I didn't have the measure of talent that I needed to really pursue a level of excellence that I felt. I always knew for me that I wanted to pursue something at a very high level but, I could tell it's not going to be in that.
Soula Parassidis:I want to like just quickly go back to that night, because I just I showed you that video and this cake comes out and people are singing to you and everybody's so happy.
Norman Reinhardt:Everybody was thrilled. People were, so Everybody was thrilled.
Soula Parassidis:It was such a good atmosphere.
Norman Reinhardt:I can't emphasize that enough.
Soula Parassidis:Were you still in the middle of that, or? Did you calm down by then? I was out of it, you were fine, then I was fine.
Norman Reinhardt:In looking back, when I look at it after the fact, I go what in the world was that Right?
Norman Reinhardt:And when I look at other things that happened, I went what the heck was going on?
Norman Reinhardt:The idea that these kind of things they can start very randomly, which is why I mean this is why we want to focus so much on mental health and making sure the mind is well, because it is something that many I mean I don't know of any performer that operates at a high level, anybody that does anything at high levels you experience some kind Right At least the ones that I've spoken to or we've talked to you experience on the spectrum of something Right, you experience some kind of anxiety at some point and so and it's a funny thing In our business we don't necessarily talk about it, or we haven't, historically, definitely don't talk about it. And number one, I think that's changing. I think that's changing, which is great. But number two, you look at the flip side of that and there's an element of that where I understand why people don't talk about it, because if you're talking about a promoter, you're talking about a theater. They have a responsibility to make sure that whoever they hire, can do the job.
Norman Reinhardt:And no performer wants to go. Well, I'm dealing with this and so maybe I can't do the job, but I think it was important.
Soula Parassidis:We didn't start talking about that until you were completely well again, until you're over it. I wanted to ask you because I was there for all of this. So I already kind of know, but for anybody who was just getting to know this story for the first time. I want you to talk about what came after that. Because, you said hey, it came, and it went as fast as it came.
Norman Reinhardt:It would go as fast as it came. But the thing is that was 2016.
Soula Parassidis:Then there was 2017. Then there was 2018.
Norman Reinhardt:2018 was the 2017 and a half 2018.
Soula Parassidis:And a half.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, it's where it went. Okay, we've got to get this fixed.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, but I actually I mean, I didn't even really want to talk about those years so much, but just that, like the origin point was this very night, yeah, your birthday. That was the origin point, but I want to talk about when you came back to the role, because that's something too. I sometimes um, I, I think, in an effort to be compassionate, um, I hope this doesn't like make anybody too mad, but I feel like we allow ourselves to stay too long in a traumatized state now sometimes you can't get yourself out of it like you, you need help.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, and that's what we did. We got help, but the thing is like we had to switch the narrative around that role for you.
Norman Reinhardt:And not just that role, but just generally.
Soula Parassidis:And that's where I was like, okay, no more of this. Like, yes, you've been through that. How are we going to flip the script on this now? So you can do your job and you can do well, because it's a good role for you, that you enjoy singing.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh, I love singing.
Soula Parassidis:When you were engaged to sing it again in 2019, right, or 2018? 2019. Okay, so you come back to it. When you saw the score again, how did you feel? Because I think this is so relevant for anybody who you know. Sometimes you go through something and it's like I can't walk into that room again. Oh, I can't see that person again, I can't wear that piece of clothing again, and that holds you captive in your life.
Norman Reinhardt:It does.
Soula Parassidis:And the thing is what if that's just a role you're going to be singing for the next 20 years and you keep getting offers?
Norman Reinhardt:And it's like, oh, my goodness, we have to get over it. So it's like how I didn't feel like I performed that role to the level or the way that I thought I could perform it. I always liked to come back to it because I like the challenge of overcoming it. But did you feel like?
Soula Parassidis:that with this I did.
Norman Reinhardt:There's another role that I don't and I sang it once and I'm like you know what. I'm not going to mess with that again.
Soula Parassidis:That one, and that's the only one, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the only one.
Norman Reinhardt:Also, there were other reasons. I wouldn't go back to that, but that's another conversation. But with whatever head thing was going on, it was really fun to sing, really fun to perform. So I knew it wasn't about you know. Oh, this is a role that's not really worth it, not that at all. So when I went back to it, I didn't have.
Norman Reinhardt:Actually, however, and I think that was just from the help that we had gotten I didn't have a negative attachment to it. I was able to look at it in a new way. I mean, I remembered the experience, but it didn't, because, in a way, I also realized that what was going on there wasn't connected to the role, it wasn't connected to this piece of music, it was just connected to whatever was going on in my head. It wasn't the music's fault, it was what's going on in here, so, um, so when I looked at it again, I went back to the way I looked at any roll it? Okay, how do we pace this? How do we manage it? How do you structure it? How do you build the scene? Where do you start? You know all that. And so I went back to what I knew. I went back to fundamentals.
Norman Reinhardt:I went back to the building blocks and said, okay, it didn't go quite, okay, whatever the head thing was, but it didn't go quite like I needed it to before. How can we make you know, help this be structured in a way that's going to here we go, bam bam, bam, bam bam. You hit the dramatic elements, you hit the with what you've got. You hit the dramatic elements, the musical points you want, and boom, you go. And so that's what I focused on, and just the enjoyment of singing. I think that's another thing. Well, that's another conversation too.
Soula Parassidis:I've become a little cynical yeah.
Norman Reinhardt:That's another episode, but you know that happens and we can talk about that another time. But that will steal your enjoyment of singing or anything else, because all you can see is the stuff that's negative and it's not working.
Soula Parassidis:I personally feel like it's much easier to fall into cynicism than it is to build yourself and other people up every single day. It actually takes big amounts of effort. It does.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, because I mean, we look at what's happening. There's a lot of crazy things, things going on, and it's easy to get caught up in that and and and. While we have to pay attention to all those things, we also have to be find a way to be. However, anybody does that yeah find a way to be positive about what's going on and bring joy. Yes, and bring uh an excitement and a positivity.
Soula Parassidis:Well, it's like your attitude will shift an atmosphere it changes it.
Norman Reinhardt:So heartbeat yeah, in a heart and in an artistic setting.
Soula Parassidis:It can absolutely pollute the atmosphere like that oh, yeah, and it's, and it's hard because, you know, the thing is like, okay, let's say you're going through that that moment, but what about anybody else? You're in the room with what?
Soula Parassidis:if they're going through something that or something even worse, and then you come in and bring your baggage intentionally. That's what I'm saying. Sometimes I feel like there's some things that you just need help for and you need to go and get healed. Then there's other times where it's just more like taking it out on other people, and I don't understand that.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, I really don't. It's an attitude issue. Yeah, yeah, and that's really that really, really bothers me, there are yeah.
Soula Parassidis:I wanted to say I think I have a recording somewhere of when you went back to the role.
Norman Reinhardt:I have a recording of it.
Soula Parassidis:You do yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe we'll put it in this video, just so people can like A little bit think we have the first one. It's from the side. We don't have the one. It was. There was a little bit really in, uh, from paris. Yeah, it'd be great to put the two clips. It was like, but it was? This sounds exactly the same okay, so it's just, you were having no, it was totally.
Norman Reinhardt:You were inside. That's what's funny about it inside your own personal opera I was just. I had an opera going on in my brain, yeah, and that opera was telling me really dumb things.
Soula Parassidis:Well, that's part of the growth. But anyway, what would you say to somebody whether they're a performer or a business owner or a parent or you know, going through some really challenging time mentally like that, through some really challenging time mentally like that, what would be the first thing they could do to perhaps pull themselves out of that situation?
Norman Reinhardt:Number one acknowledge that it's happening. Was that hard for you to do? Acknowledge that it's the first. Was that hard for you to do? It took a while. Yeah. What was the?
Soula Parassidis:catalyst. Besides this, because that, to me, that thing in 2017 or 2016 was more of a breaking point. You must have known ahead of time that was happening. That couldn't have been the first time. That was the first time ever that you realized that you were having something so you had never, ever experienced that before.
Norman Reinhardt:Not like that. No, no, no no. That was completely new, absolutely new. Anything else was just nerves. It's just nervous to perform, and maybe you could link it to that. No, I don't know.
Soula Parassidis:But then so acknowledging that it's happening. When did that happen for you?
Norman Reinhardt:It took me a little bit and partly it was just because I just said I don't want to be experiencing this. There's something wrong and I've got to figure out what to do. It took me a while to get to the point where I was going to do something, but I did go. Okay, this has to get fixed. So the first thing, acknowledge that it's happening. Also, acknowledge that it's okay that it's happening because it does happen to people. Right, you're not alone in it, and it's all right. It's okay that you're experiencing that thing and it's all right, it's okay that you're experiencing that thing.
Norman Reinhardt:It is something that, again, everybody will experience in some way, more than you know, to different degrees, and so that's okay. It's part of the as a performer, it's part of it, can be depending, it can be a part of the experience. And then, however, you get to it because everybody has to kind of acknowledge it and accept it and kind of, some people can immediately go and do something about it. Some people it takes it's a bit of a process. That's okay too. But however you get there, go get help for it, talk to somebody about it, find somebody that can help you build that up.
Soula Parassidis:Right. I feel like those are really good points, and maybe it's just relevant to talk about the maintenance of when you feel like you've been healed from that, Because I remember you said something really poignant to me where you said I have not been filling myself up with things that give me life, and I have to do that Because I feel like part of the junk that's coming out is what I've been putting in.
Soula Parassidis:So I would just love to sort of like wrap up with you describing what you would do, because I remember very clearly the routine that you had to develop for yourself to feel like you were filling up, just like that part of your soul with something that was beneficial rather than you know.
Soula Parassidis:I mean, when we met, you know, and we all do this sometimes but I remember I got after you and I was like hey, I'm a person and I'm here and I don't know why you're watching a youtube video while I'm literally in the room with you and you're like shoot, that is kind of weird.
Norman Reinhardt:And that was like a numbing technique that you had. Everybody kind of escapes a different ways. And I'm not saying every performer does that, but that's the perfect word escaping For me, that's what I did, right.
Soula Parassidis:So like a numbing, an escaping thing.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, and escaping thing.
Soula Parassidis:So what did you do to turn that? Because we're still talking about the content that you're putting into your soul. So what would you do? I just really want to say that for anybody who's going like well, good for you. Like you know, you got the help, but I don't know how to start, like it could be something as simple.
Norman Reinhardt:As you know, you had a playlist. Yeah, I mean, it's things that. Number one start small. You don't need to start huge. Oftentimes, when you think I have to shift my whole life around something that is, it becomes this unattainable goal.
Soula Parassidis:It becomes an aspiration rather than something that you can attain. It becomes an aspiration, but it's something you can get to. You can reach.
Norman Reinhardt:So you start with small little things and try and change little habits, one step at a time. If it is, and it depends on what things bring you rest, what things bring you peace, what things that engage you with other people as opposed to things that really turn everything in on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because as soon as you get, I mean it's good to be introspective in the sense of, okay, we need to think about, okay, fine, I'm not saying introspection is bad, I'm not saying introspection is bad, but it can flip easily into a cycle of just negativity, yeah and just, oh, well, this is wrong and this is wrong, and there's this and this and this. And I'm one of those people. Some people are natured that way, but I will really flip into, I can go into melancholy.
Soula Parassidis:Oh, I know Bam.
Norman Reinhardt:You know, in a heartbeat it's very funny.
Soula Parassidis:It'll be very useful for you when you sing verter when.
Norman Reinhardt:I sing verter, I'll go to a different continent.
Soula Parassidis:When you're doing that, I will be very, but no seriously, I want you to literally tell them about like what you did.
Norman Reinhardt:What I did literally was I structured my day so I would get up, read, meditate, do something spiritual. That's me Again. Everybody's different on that one, but that's what I did. I would study a little bit, maybe get outside, outside's good, as opposed to just sitting in your house. I had a playlist, like you would. I had a playlist. Like you said, I had a playlist of music.
Soula Parassidis:I think we should like link the or put the pieces into the description for people so they can see that and and again.
Norman Reinhardt:For me it was very specific, just like it would be for for anybody else. It's very specific music that when you hear it it's a joyful see.
Soula Parassidis:That's so funny because, like when I hear your playlist. I'm like I'm like this is too bad because it's like debussy and jacobs, like it's beautiful, but I'm like it's like I want to hear like bach yeah mozart. Like for me, it's uplifting when I hear yours, I'm like oh my gosh like let's just get the dostoevvsky out and finish it, like you know. But I think that's what's amazing. Yeah, mine was Mahler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I mean it's totally gorgeous, but the reason I love it is because it's heavy.
Soula Parassidis:But I find it really beautiful. Yeah, yeah, it feeds you.
Norman Reinhardt:It's good If you think, things that are beautiful to you. That's what you use. That's what you use. And it fills up your soul, if it's literature, if it is Reading, is huge For me, because I used YouTube and Netflix and that kind of stuff to numb myself. And there's nothing wrong with YouTube and Netflix. If you're watching YouTube, it's fine.
Soula Parassidis:Yes, please watch our show on YouTube.
Norman Reinhardt:Yes, please watch our show on YouTube. But what happened with me is I would kind of go into this escaped world and just numb myself to what was going on around me.
Soula Parassidis:I call that the difference between consuming forms of entertainment or content versus engaging with them.
Norman Reinhardt:Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Soula Parassidis:But I think that that's a wonderful place for people to start and to continue to fill themselves up, so all of that wonderful stuff they're inputting can come out come out on stage, come out in their personal life. And that's what eventually happened for you, and now you're in a whole new time in your career.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh yeah, and I reached a new point and it didn't take. You know, it was amazing actually. I remember I did a show here in Vienna in that period where it was so messy. A year later I did another show here in Vienna and that next year I remember people going and I had gotten help in between and I remember people going. What happened to you?
Soula Parassidis:Yeah, in a good way. In a good way, they're like oh, you seem more yourself.
Norman Reinhardt:You seem more oh, wow, that's great. What did you do? What happened, which was that's a wonderful thing it's great.
Norman Reinhardt:I mean, it's better than saying, oh, you seem worse. So yeah, it was really, you know, number one, the help. It's worth it. Obviously it's worth it Because then you're free again and you can have fun and perform. And that's the thing. There is the element of you know, we're supposed to be joyous when we perform Absolutely, even if you're performing something that can be very dramatic or whatever. There is still this element of joy that has to be infused because it's freeing. Joy is freeing If you're. It can hold you back. Let me put it that way. That's me. For other people maybe it's a different process, but for me specifically, the more joy I have, the freer I am to express something.
Soula Parassidis:My feeling around that is a sense of personal responsibility, knowing that, however many thousands of people are in the audience, that part of why they've come that night to the theater is because they also want to feel that release of joy in some capacity. And so if I'm so consumed by my own thoughts about myself and I'm unable to sort of impart that out, then I've held something back that could be transformational for somebody else's life. Absolutely, and it helps me to stop thinking about myself and maybe how nervous I am about a phrase or a scene.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh yeah.
Soula Parassidis:And remember that there's all those people there that have come specifically for a transformative experience and I get to deliver that and that's like pretty amazing, yeah, that that's something that we get to do as performers.
Norman Reinhardt:Oh, it's amazing, it's extraordinary. So um yeah, we're very fortunate to do what we do. But yeah, so yeah.
Soula Parassidis:I feel like. I feel like we, we did it.
Norman Reinhardt:We did it.
Soula Parassidis:High five, high five. First episode.
Norman Reinhardt:First episode everybody Good times.
Soula Parassidis:No, but um it's.
Norman Reinhardt:I think it's important to tell these kind of stories and to Well, it's very important because there is the reason you talk about it is because there is help for it.
Soula Parassidis:Yeah.
Norman Reinhardt:It's not just to talk about something, just to talk about it. It's that there are solutions that will help you have a better life, help you be a better performer, an easier performer, a more complete performer and a more compassionate person. And a more compassionate person.
Soula Parassidis:Because then you'll know you understand. When somebody else comes to you privately and is like my life's falling apart, what do I do Like?
Norman Reinhardt:I got you. Yeah, yeah, I've been there. I've been there, been there.
Soula Parassidis:Anyway, thank you all so much for watching, watching and, if you haven't subscribed yet, to our channel please subscribe and we are going to see you in the next episode, episode yay thanks.
